Sometimes it all feels like swallowing glass; you reach for a solution but it's like trying to catch smoke in your hand.
The key chain from the aquarium sat at the other end of the kitchen table. I watched the blue-dyed water and the turtle inside shake, each time he sunk into his chair and wriggled, refusing to read an assignment.
You'd think it would be some kind of magic, being so tuned in to your own conscience that you can pinpoint where a feeling comes from and why; to know where your own power lies, to be able to dig through the misty ether and say hey, don't be so hard on yourself, you know what your trigger is.
I snapped quick photos of your concentration, placed the phone down and watched your fingers move, how you dipped your brushes a little too aggressively, swirled through the orange like a hurricane then slapped on too many layers.
Coping mechanisms are great - they're important - but the occasional self pity session can bring some relief, too.
the holes in the backyard / are their rousing valleys / the flooding in the grass/ is their forest floor
A gentle tapping (or rubbing) of these pressure points in moments of extreme anxiety is thought to help one ease through the triggering thought rather than being swallowed by it. Think of it as wrapping yourself in a metaphorical weighted blanket for a few good breaths.