The key chain from the aquarium sat at the other end of the kitchen table. I watched the blue-dyed water and the turtle inside shake, each time he sunk into his chair and wriggled, refusing to read an assignment.
Tag: family
today I managed to be fully present for you.
I snapped quick photos of your concentration, placed the phone down and watched your fingers move, how you dipped your brushes a little too aggressively, swirled through the orange like a hurricane then slapped on too many layers.
vigil for nothing
awareness for the what-ifs / awareness for the things / you could never comprehend / so you spend all of your / precious time trying to
it’s a wild ride.
Does your brain ever feel like it's on a carousel? 'Cause mine sure does. Every. Damn. Day. Spinning in circles, everything lost in an up-down blur. You crane your neck to try to keep your eyes on that one something, but inevitably it always escapes your line of vision, because that carousel just keeps on…
Beautiful, Beautiful, Boy:
I'm so sorry every day looks exactly the same. I'm so sorry for getting angry, so often. I'm frustrated. I'm lost. I'm anxious. But you are most important to me, always. Yell, apologize, repeat. Time is meaningless. The days blend and blind like getting sun in our eyes. Only night brings some sort of relief;…
the trigger
One part of my soul. Mommy, am I going to die? Whew. Your four year old turns to you with pure, unfiltered fear in his voice and speaks those words. Take it in. Feel it. Let it numb you, because it will. Let it stop your breath, because it will, just for a moment, before…
